Restrained

I stood for a few minutes soothing my son as he squirmed in his swaddle and was silenced by his "binky". He calmed down shortly, closed his eyes and sucked away peacefully. But for that split second when his eyes widened and looked at me almost in bewilderment, I couldn't help but to imagine what it would feel like to be treated as he and many infants in this country. Is it just me, or doesn't a swaddle look a lot like a straitjacket? And a "binky" (pacifier) sure does shut a guy up! We've got gates and play yards to restrict their movements, some even use collars as they walk with their toddlers down the street.

Restrained. That's just the way it is here. But why do we do it? No matter how limited our little ones seem, we do it because we want to protect them and keep them from harm. It really got me thinking as I towered over my little one and patted him tenderly, speaking to him lovingly and assuring him that all was well. It got me thinking because we too may feel restrained...limited and unable to reach some desires and some dreams.

Take a moment to imagine God looking over you with love, speaking to you through His Spirit to trust Him and believe, that at an appointed time your desire will come. Though it may seem that the doors have been shut, that you've been silenced and that your hands are tied, believe that He has your best interest at heart and He has the power to set you free beyond your limits.Your response? Calm down, let His peace overtake you and rest comfortably in His able arms.

Philippians 4:7- And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus

Lord, You're Bigger

Image by John Bell

For those who are going through, remember that He's bigger.

If God be for you, who can be against you?

Romans 8:31

Lord, You're Bigger

Lord You’re bigger than all of this,

You’re bigger than pain and oppression,

Your bigger than sickness and depression,

You’re bigger than lack of direction,

You’re bigger.

You’re bigger than what we hold on to,

When life seems so hard to bear.

You’re bigger.

And I dare anyone to defy You

For You’re bigger than all.

Who can be against me when You are for me.

You’re bigger.

Lyrics by tia 2003

Say Yes to Life- Performance Version

Back in August, we shared a piece called Say Yes to Life, found here.

Because this was an extended version, we've revised it to fit right with the instrumentals that inspired the flow.

Here is the performance version but be sure to read the extended lyrics.

SAY YES TO LIFE

Agitated.

Feels like all hope is gone.

Feels like I’m stuck and there’s

No one there to save me.

Separated.

From both my God and man

I just don’t understand

How I could feel this way

I gather myself, take victory from all

I cannot afford to have destructive thoughts

Determined to rise and live on instead

I say yes to life. I am no longer dead.

Frustrated.

When did it come to this?

I really just want to quit

I don't know how I can go on

I gather myself, take victory from all

I cannot afford to have destructive thoughts

Determined to rise and live on instead

I say yes to life. I am no longer dead.

Oh O…………h Lord! Oh, O………h Lord!

Oh O…………h Lord! (2X)

Daily I struggle…

My very heart deprived

It must be better than this

Hear my heart, hear my thoughts; take heed to my call!

I gather myself, take victory from all

I cannot afford to have destructive thoughts

Determined to rise and live on instead

I say yes to life. I am no longer dead.

I gather myself, take victory from all

I cannot afford to have destructive thoughts

Determined to rise and live on instead

I say yes to life. I am no longer dead.

Oh O…………h Lord! Oh, O………h Lord!

Oh O…………h Lord!

There’s nothing left to embrace

But for one glimpse of Your face

Lead me Lord, Lord take control. Before You I fall!

-Lyrics by tia 2010-2011

I Choose You- Part I: The demise

Image courtesy of DrAjao @www.DrAjao.com

The challenge of relationship is in letting go of ourselves, our selfishness and our pride in order to give way for mutual understanding and the divine love of God. Today, as I sort through the rubble of my destructive choices, I courageously seek to conquer my inadequacies in this area. Praying for God's special grace to succeed, I share this piece with you.

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I Choose You: The demise

I choose you

The demise of my pride

Choosing to hold my tongue

Being fully aware

That what I say today

Can scar us tomorrow

I choose you

Instead of bitterness and anger

Deciding to love instead

Placing you before I

My very being divides

I explode painfully into freedom as I capture the truth of such love divine

I decide to let go of self and capture peace and help

From the Lord in whom all things are possible

I choose you instead of the pain I harbor inside

The silence that lies between us

The fear to speak less you get your way victoriously

But I speak letting understanding reign and thus the connection that we need.

When you’ve hurt my feelings, my pride

Whether knowing or through a fault of mine

I struggle within

Forgiveness? Your chances are slim

And sin?

It darkens my soul within

As I fight to withhold the dignity that I believe is mine

I shouldn’t have to apologize

My ego and pride should not be demised

The stubborn plans that I devise

Should stand uncompromised

I choose to restrain though with disdain

I fall to my knees and cry.

I surrender.

And it is in this very act that I rise and our love, understanding and peace in kind

Choosing to believe that when I let my kingdom fall, my dynasty will rise from obscurity and shine

So to have mine? I choose you. I choose thine.

-Lyrics by tia 2011

See Part II here

The Thing About Temptation

‘What am I going to do with this boy?,’ I think to myself as I scold him for the 15th time.

“MM leave those things alone!”

Sitting in the corner of the living room, which turns out to be his primary play area, is a large box of fragile items. The box sits in this particular corner because this space is the only area to conveniently put them. Somehow, I haven’t been able to convince my son to leave the items alone. After explanations, yellings and threats from all adults in the house, somehow he still ends up back in that corner picking up the delicate items to play with.

Funny: his giant toy box is at the other corner and he’s been totally ignores it!

DON’T DO IT! Why is that so hard to understand? Why won’t he obey? What is it with this disobedient child? Rather, he still ends up back there, doing the same thing over and over with a satisfied smile, oblivious of my disapproval even though I’ve reprimanded him several times before…

But isn’t that just like temptation?

It is ever present, always easy to access.

Can I really expect him to obey when the temptation sits squarely before him constantly?

The solution? The Bible says to FLEE. (See I Corinthians 6:18; I Corinthians 10:14; I Timothy 6:11, II Timothy 2:22)

Don’t make it easy!

Don’t keep it around!

Get rid of it with a quickness!

And you know, the amazing thing about it is that He will always make a way of escape for us.

I Corinthians 10:13: There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God [is] faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear [it].

I just found our way of escape while writing this: I moved the box to a little space on the other side of the baby gate.

Inconvenient and in the way, yes, but we will be the better for it.

-Lyrics by tia 2011

September 18, 2011 11:45am- 12:21pm

Like the End of the World

I experienced my first earthquake this Tuesday. Now, as we approach the weekend, all of us on the East Coast of the United States are facing severe hurricane warnings. I’ve lived in this area for over 25 years and yet I have not truly experienced how destructive and devastating a major natural disaster can be. So as I reflect on how I have felt this week, this piece is my attempt to relate, to understand, and to pray for those who have been victims of natural disaster--and for all of us who really have no clue.

Like the End of the World

I imagine the ground trembling beneath your feet,

The roads cracking before your eyes,

The surface of the very earth splitting apart as if to reveal molten lava beneath.

I imagine watching a tumultuous wave raising up,

Smashing down upon civilization,

Gushing forth, measuring miles beyond the shores.

Winds that rip ancient trees from the soils

Tumultuous twisters through the air

To you, the end must be near

Watching your loved ones die

Peering up into the scorching sky,

Crying why, and when, and how will your child survive

Finding yourself alone and wondering if that Great Day had come

I’ve never experienced natural disaster before,

But I know that for those who have, it must have felt like the end of the world.

And to think that imminent danger lurks near...

To the most recent victims, our hearts go out to you.

Our effectual fervent prayers are for you, for they avail much.

With love,

-Lyrics by tia 2011

Say Yes to Life

The following is shared from my ‘In Hard Times’ collection, detailing an experience that I wish wasn't as common to man as it really is. It is a peculiar state where one ceases to live and merely struggles to exist. The lyrics may prove overwhelming for someone who has never been there, but for those who have, I hope this encourages you that you are not alone, that others can relate and that there is hope at the end of the tunnel.

These lyrics are set to the instrumentals of Mercy Me’s All of Creation (with several additional verses) [The karaoke version is located here to give you a sense].

I would love some dialogue on this.

-t

Agitated.

Feels like all hope is gone.

Feels like I am stuck and there’s

No one there to save me.

Separated.

From both my God and man

I just do not understand

How I could feel this way

I gather myself, take victory from all

I can't afford to harbor destructive thoughts

Determined to rise and live on instead

I say yes to life. I am no longer dead.

Aggravated.

I struggle to get out of bed

Rather just lie there instead

And cry the whole day away

Incriminating.

The very look on my face

As if I have embraced

The desire to not live at all

I gather myself, take victory from all

I can't afford to harbor destructive thoughts

Determine to rise and live on instead

I say yes to life. I am no longer dead

Frustrated.

When did it come to this?

I really just want to quit

I don't know how I can go on

Disintegrating.

I have nothing left to embrace

My whole life has been misplaced

The life I live is just an excuse

I gather myself, take victory from all

I can't afford to harbor destructive thoughts

Decide to rise up and live on instead

I say yes to life. I am no longer dead

Confiscated.

My very heart deprived

Consistently asking why

I bear the curse of my fate

Determination.

It has to be better than this

I remember the joy and bliss

That once was mine to lavishly give

I gather myself, take victory from all

I can't afford to harbor destructive thoughts

Decide to rise up and live on instead

I say yes to life. I am no longer dead

Oh O…………h Lord! Oh, O………h Lord!

Hear my heart, hear my thoughts; take heed to my call!

Oh O…………h Lord! Oh, O………h Lord!

Change my heart, my thoughts, my view, make the bad feelings part!

Oh O…………h Lord! Oh, O………h Lord!

Lead me Lord, Lord take control. Before You I fall!

-Lyrics by tia

6-30-10, 7-14-10, 8-6-10, 02-23-11

No matter what it feels like and how bleak your situation may seem, the Lord knows and He is there to hear your supplications. He is ready to deliver.

Missing Child Alert!

Sunday evening, I was at a social event with my little family—dad, mom and toddler son. I decided to give my son a moment of freedom and in an instant, he disappeared from my sight amidst the crowd. When I realized he hadn’t thought to turn back and find ‘mommy’, I went after him. He was no where in sight! He couldn’t be far, I thought to myself, so I didn’t panic but I looked about with urgency. Still no where. Then I called his dad who joined the search. Next, I began to ask people around…no one noticed him. We kept our demeanor but searched all the more intently. What if he followed a stranger? What if he left the building and was wandering the streets? What if someone found him, planning to harm him? Or could someone be playing a cruel, cruel joke on me???:

Punked: Negligent mom punished!

As I moved about, all I could think of was how he could possibly be looking for me just as frantically; and the more I looked, the further away I would get from him. But giving all glory to God, I found him playing alone in a remote section of the building. Needless to say he spent a long time in time out (although I would have chosen to help him to a good spanking if it were convenient).

Sitting here tonight I consider the feelings I experienced during those 15 or so minutes, and I began to wonder how the Lord feels when I wander from Him…

We had such a close, intimate and tightly bonded relationship…wouldn’t you think I would have turned back to Him right away?

But still I wander.

And yet the Lord stands on with hope in His eyes.

She can’t go far; she’s my child. I paid for her with a special price—My precious Blood; she’s mine! But where did she go? What is she looking for? What if someone hurts her? What if she’s looking for me in all the wrong places?

For a clearer picture, I am reminded of the scripture in Revelations 2:2-5

2 I know your industry and activities, laborious toil and trouble, and your patient endurance, and how you cannot tolerate wicked [men] and have tested and critically appraised those who call [themselves] apostles (special messengers of Christ) and yet are not, and have found them to be impostors and liars.3 I know you are enduring patiently and are bearing up for My name’s sake, and you have not fainted or become exhausted or grown weary.4 But I have this [one charge to make] against you: that you have left (abandoned) the love that you had at first [you have deserted Me, your first love].5 Remember then from what heights you have fallen. Repent (change the inner man to meet God’s will) and do the works you did previously [when first you knew the Lord], or else I will visit you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you change your mind and repent. (Amplified version)

So I have a crucial role to play. He expects me to turn around and return to him…another word for ‘turn around’ is repent. And as any parent would know, nothing is better than a child running lovingly back into your arms. It sure beats having to snatching him/her up so you can discipline them.

-Lyrics by tia 2011

Your Mother's Instruction

My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life.
-Proverbs 6:20-23 KJV

My son, obey your father's commands, and don't neglect your mother's instruction. Keep their words always in your heart. Tie them around your neck. When you walk, their counsel will lead you. When you sleep, they will protect you. When you wake up, they will advise you. For their command is a lamp and their instruction a light; their corrective discipline is the way to life.
-Proverbs 6:20-23 NLT

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I couldn’t have been more than 11 years old when my mother told us to memorize this passage one day during summer vacation. She gave us the assignment before leaving for work that morning and expected us to know it by the time she returned in the evening. I liked the challenge so I took on the task willingly.

Funny how we forget.

As I lay in bed this morning, the words of this passage rehearsed in my heart. Odd; I hadn’t read it in years. But as I allowed myself to awaken to the truth of this Word, I realize that even though I’m grown and a parent myself, this Scripture is still meant for me.

Looking around I can sense why God chose to remind me. Being out of work now for over 6 months has messed with my morale. And rather than engaging in the glorious act of homemaking that I once coveted, I laze around all day in self pity and nothing gets done. I feel stuck and I am certainly not the person I know God intends for me to be.

My parents worked very hard to raise responsible children. They went out of their way to instill discipline and value into us and they are extremely industrious and determined people. Did all of their hard work go to waste? Or perhaps I ‘forsook the law of my mother’ (v.20.)

I’m going to have to make some changes.

So if you ever find yourself in a rut, consider what your father instructed and what your mother taught you. It will lead you, it will keep you and it guide you in the right direction.

-Lyrics by tia 7-6-11 8:30am-9:30am

Dubious Concepts

Life and death; what dubious concepts. Some live their whole lives in pursuit of success and recognition; others fight just to survive yet death is inevitable for all. And isn't it interesting that in many ways death is better than life? Let me explain: you die and suddenly everyone--your friends and family, enemies and people you don't even know, show their love and affection for you, speaking grandiose words about your noble acts. In life however, you were practically ignored! When you’re dead, a memorial fund is set up in your honor, where donations are made reaching thousands and thousands of dollars. Funny; you had to labor and sweat before anyone would sponsor your life long dream. Then everyone starts to appreciate your work, writing reviews and analyzing it critically. Someone decides to write and produce your life story earning millions of dollars! Well, that's life for you...or death I guess. But hey, when you die in Christ, much more awaits for you.

The "me, me, me" jig-Archive

Do you know the dance? Well, I know it rather well. I was going to my senior year in high school when I wrote this. It's funny how I read it now and realize I had the same things on my mind: image and success. But being self absorbed got the most of me and I had to realize what I really needed. Funny enough, it's still true today.
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The "me, me, me" Jig

Lord. I need You. So much more than before
Lord. I want You to open up closed doors
I don’t desire to hurt anyone or use them in wrong ways
I want to show Your love for them instead, each and every day
I want to be the child You have called me to be
But You see Lord, There’s a problem: I’m too caught up in me

I want to make an image—an interesting show
Yet it all displays a me that I hardly even know
Sophisticated, smart and kind—elegantly dressed
Never ever make mistakes—always ace on tests
Senior year is what I need—all the glory there
But what about the hurt that dwells in somebody near,
In someone who need to know You, Lord?


Let go of yourself. You’re too important to Me
If you’re going to keep all that love for yourself
Where’s the room for me?
I’m here for You and I truly know best
So rest, My dear, in my sweet grace
And I’ll take the burden off your chest


I’ve got to stand up and get out of the ‘me, me, me’ jig
There surely is no time for that—I’ll dry up like that fig
If there’s no fruit then what’s the use of me?
If I don’t please The Master, what else can I be?
I must make sure that I stay in His love and never forget
That He is all I need right now and all I’ll ever get!

August 20, 1998 11:29pm