Twelve Guys and A Surprise: Introduction

This begins a whole new series entitled “Twelve Guys and A Surprise.” This collection of short stories prove to be rather interesting. The crazy thing is that they are all true! If you can relate to any of the stories, click the “I can relate” button. Feel free to share your stories in the comment section!

Twelve Guys and A Surprise I: The “Asks Everybody Out” Guy

So I was fresh out from an all-girl’s boarding school; hardly exposed to guys as an adolescent, until then; so you can’t really blame me for this one. As a sophomore in high school, I visited the library often and noticed a guy who was always there too. I thought he was kind of cute, so one day I made up my mind to talk to him. Afraid to move forward, I whipped out my Bible and prayed a scripture that I made applicable to my situation (it was probably based on name it and claim it). So I went over there, started a conversation and then he asked me out! I went home so excited. Next time I went to the library I overheard some girls talking about him. “That guy? He asks everyone out”. Figures I’d be the one to say yes :/

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Twelve Guys and A Surprise II: The Mirror Guy

My junior year of high school was great. I had a lot of fun in clubs and other activities. The choir was one of them. Every day on my way to the choir room, there was this guy who always tried to talk to me. My high and mighty I-kissed-dating-goodbye self would constantly ignore him. When he was fed up he stopped me in the hall and gave me a piece of his mind. He very clearly insisted that I relinquish my pride and fix my attitude. I was taken aback that the guy sincerely wanted to talk to me with pure intentions. We never spoke again.

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Twelve Guys and A Surprise III: The Super Fly Out-of-My-League Guy

He was the super confident I-don’t-need-to-find-a-woman-‘cause-they-come-to-me-in-droves guy. I knew he was out of my league. This was the guy I would send my cousin to as a liaison (she just happened to date his brother). I was like “So what did he say? Do you think he likes me? Next time you see him, ask him for me.” She would tell me what events he was going to be at and I would show up looking awkward (though super fabulous in my eyes). She would try her best not to hurt my feelings. I finally gave it up on the weekend of his wedding. :/

We all live great lives so make no mistake

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Twelve Guys and A Surprise IV: The God Told Me You Are My Wife Guy

Now I just had a close encounter with this guy. He was obviously assessing me and my apparent devotion to Christ. Funny; he eventually passed me and gave the line to a buddy of mine who declined. Hey you gotta cut him a little slack; it’s really difficult to hear God clearly on this matter.

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Twelve Guys and A Surprise V: The Parental Hook-Up Guy

Our parents wish us the best. They’ve known us all our lives so we should trust their intuition…even if it’s to marry only people from our foreign hometowns. Well, I respect my parents so when they insisted that I talk to a guy that they probably betrothed me to as an infant, I was civil. I anticipated the first call. Phone rings, I answer “Hello?” The other end: “Yellow? Yellow? Is that tia? Hi. Can you call me back; I don’t have credit.”* I was totally turned off. For weeks he would keep flashing me.** Gosh! Then I figured I could communicate with him better via email. He sends me an email like “So you know, we should do the wedding here and maybe in a few months I can reach America.” Oh no; I’m out!

* Credit is a term used to describe the amount of money used to buy units on a pay-as-you-go mobile phone system.

**Flashing means to call someone, let the phone ring once, and then hang up, expecting the receiver to call you back.

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Twelve Guys and A Surprise VI: The Godly Guy

Hey, what did I expect; I found him online. And what; he attended my church? Even better! So we met on a Saturday for a movie and dinner. He stressed the fact that he was godly: “I really like God.” “God’s my main man.” “God and I are like this.” So on Sunday we went to the park (that was my idea). Monday and Tuesday: phone time. Wednesday: He picked me up and took me to his place where we watched movies with his sister. Thursday: phone time. Friday: to the club. I had never been to the club with a guy before…I really regret it. He reluctantly dropped me off at home (because he figured we should hang out a little at his place). I declined and he left. Saturday: Back to his house. We were playing cards when he suggested we move the game to his room, you know, so we could concentrate. I declined. Then he tried something slick. I insisted that he take me home. On the way, he told me how I was too strict; that I was a prude; that no one waits anymore, and that no one would ever wait for me. Well think again, buster: *BLING*

You’ve walked away once but it's never too late

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Twelve Guys and A Surprise VII: Provocative Bad Guy

I wasn’t even paying him any mind when he took the cigarette out of his mouth and called out something to get my attention. This time I actually turned around. Something about him seemed sincere so I gave him my number. He called me that night; I thought that that was different. It was exciting and fun as he would call me in the mornings to pray, and recite Boyz II Men lyrics to me (funny thing is I didn’t even know until I heard the song later!). He would tell me how much he wanted to change his life and how people didn’t understand him. My heart went out to him. It was definitely fun but I knew it wouldn’t go far. But one thing was for sure; if he had caught me on the right night it definitely would have been on! Thank God he was in another state!

If you have a lover, a friend or a mate

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Twelve Guys and A Surprise VIII:The I-Would-so-Date-Him-if-He-Were a Christian Guy

I was in a foreign land. I felt all alone until I saw those clear blue eyes. I didn’t notice them until he had read my work and said how much he was intrigued by it. We would discuss lots of things, but mostly religion. I found him very engaging and I felt that with time, he would discover the love of Christ and choose to make Him Lord of his life. I came back home and essentially lost touch. I wonder what he’s doing now.

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Twelve Guys and A Surprise IX: The Sugar Daddy Guy

I used to walk to Sunday service. This particular Sunday I wasn’t dressed spectacularly special, since hey, church isn’t a fashion show. On my way home though, some dude honked at me. I looked for a split second and kept walking thinking “What on earth did I do to attract him?” I looked over my shoulder and slightly peered down. Oh yeah, that. While I was waiting at the crosswalk, the guy got out of his car, jogged up to me and asked why I didn’t respond to his call. He said I looked beautiful, that, you know, the Bible says a man that sees a pretty woman finds a good thing. You know, like Adam and Eve in the garden, a man needs a woman. After all of his lines, He pulled out a large wad of cash, and from the center of the wad, he pulled out a business card and handed it (the business card, not the cash) to me like “I’ll give you a good time.” I walked home and would you believe it? I called him! Yeah I did. I met him for dinner that same day! The scenario was just too funny to pass by and my curiosity got the best of me. During dinner he described to me a picture of the fabulous life and said he could make me a part. My imagination wandered as he described all-white parties on yachts and exhilarating concerts featuring fabulous artists; but something just didn't sit right about him. It turned out he was 10 years older than me and somehow that fact made me snap back to reality. Even though I should have gotten it earlier, it was then that I realized that there were ulterior motives lurking in his shadiness. I left, but if nothing else, at least I've got a funny story to tell :)

It may be your pride, your feelings or hate

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Twelve Guys and A Surprise X: The "Affectionate" Guy

I was in the middle of the online dating game back then. I figured nothing was wrong with it since it was a Christian forum. So a guy sent me a message and I responded with excitement. He saw something compelling about my eyes…or was it my feet? During this online love affair he caressed my feminine ego with admiration for my…feet—and adoration for my personage. It bordered on idolatry. He insisted that he must meet me. So he drove a few hours to meet me for dinner. Afterward we took a walk and suddenly he couldn’t keep his hands to himself! I fought him off, albeit teasingly. I got tired after a while and sat down to assess the evening. The moon reflected brightly…the wind blew softly…the trees towered above. He sat down beside me and softly asked what was wrong. He lifted my chin and looked into my sad eyes then leaned in for a kiss. For a moment I came to a thought: "This is so like a click flicks or a romance novel I’ve read…it’s all I’ve ever wanted…but not with this guy". So I turned my face, got up and went home. That was the end of that. My virgin lips were saved.

It looks good, you want to, come on take the bait

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Twelve Guys and A Surprise XI: The Super Deep Spiritual Guy

I was gone on a mission of sorts, to discover my interests professionally. There was a cohort of us and I didn’t take any particular interest in anyone until one day I get into a discussion with one of the guys and he whips out scriptures from Habakkuk and Zephaniah! So I thought he must know the Word of God pretty well. From then, while I was supposed to be concentrating on my cause, I spent the majority of the time talking to him. I mean I was extremely in to this guy. I thought I was in love, writing and reciting poetry to him and stuff. Whatever he did seemed super spiritual and deep like when he would show up really late when we were supposed to hang out or when he would apparently draw back from me emotionally. I would be like: ‘He is so in touch with God that he blows with the wind, you know, on his own time.’ or ‘Oh he’s keeping me at arms length ‘cause he knows that "I'm like a precious vessel that, if tampered with, could shatter to pieces…" Then I wanted to appear spiritual too so I let us part with no means of keeping in touch saying “If it’s meant to be then God will join us back together and we’ll ride off into eternity”. Yeah. And then I Googled him and called him up, just to find out that he had a girlfriend and that he had no interest in me at all; nothing other than as a friend. *Shatter*

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Twelve Guys and A Surprise XII: The Friendlationship Guy

A Friendlationship(n) is a combination of the words 'friends' and 'relationship', used to describe a somewhat-platonic relationship that contains all the aspects of an actual romantic relationship, without any physical/sexual benefits. Basically, all the sacrifice but none of the gain. Often occurs when both people involved harbor some desire for the other, but neither is willing to take a chance and potentially ruin their friendship.

-Urban Dictionary

Now this was a complicated one. It’s a very difficult place to be. I confess that I started this one. I thought he was fly so I put myself out there. He told me about this Christian event that he planned every week and I was there each week. We became friends, you know, but the foundation was rather shaky. It was so complicated that I would disconnect myself from him for weeks only to reason my way out of it. Then one day I was determined and went for a long stretch. He couldn’t take it so he got through to me and asked me to be his girl. Funny; it lasted about 22 hours. I just wasn't comfortable 'cause I didn't feel valued. So honestly, don’t do me any favors.

I thought that was the end of it when months later after breaking up with his girlfriend, he called me late at night while I was in bed, suggesting, somewhat seductively, that we should consider “us” again. I had to make a choice...

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