Epilogue: Keep Remembering

I love Valentine’s Day. I've always enjoyed the concept of love and showing care and affection purposefully. Love should be celebrated everyday but it’s good to set a day aside.

The series tia’s memoirs: Love’s progression is an amazing journey in retrospect! Wow, it really takes me back to some really critical times. God is truly awesome beyond compare. His Word is sure; His promises last forever. What He said in the beginning stands now and is set for the future!

Sharing this series has been a great reminder of His Love, His desire to see us fulfilled in the dreams and desires of our hearts. So many times I go without remembering where I’ve come from. I thank God for this opportunity to remember and to show gratitude.

Sharing this series has also given me a greater appreciation for what God has given me over these last 3 years: the husband that I desired for year upon year. As many can attest to, it is rather easy to forget.

I have also been rather challenged with the sharing of these intimate memories. Those deep desires of my heart truly set a high standard that is extremely difficult to meet in the actual experience of marriage. In a way, these many words provide a state that I wish to attain, an appreciation for my spouse that I wish to grasp hold to. Life really gets in the way and again it is easy to forget those past feelings and longings when you have new challenges to face.

Keeping a record of your dreams, your prayers, your deepest desires and wants can be very fulfilling especially when you see them coming to pass one by one. You will be pleasantly surprised that some things you declared in the past are actually becoming so in your life.

If you think about it, remembering is what God called us to do. The children of Israel, just delivered from bondage in Egypt, had been on their journey to the promised land, the promise that they had hoped on for a very long time. Finally they were on their way to receive the promise but along the way they faced challenges and began to murmur and complain, willing even to return to bondage! Time and time again they were implored to remember where they came from and what God had done for them (See the Book of Exodus).

So as I spend the day listening to my old love song favorites and dancing around the house with my chocolates and my men, I’ll also be remembering.

Let’s keep remembering and live life with gratitude.

Lyrics by tia 2012

02/14/12 6:50-7:05am

Fairly Seasoned Love: I Choose You (Part 2): My Destiny

Sometimes those of us who are married knowingly or unknowingly put on the appearance that it is constant pleasure and bliss. I have come to find that it is not, that in fact marriage can be very difficult for many, many reasons. I Choose You has two parts, the first, featured here, really speaks my heart on the intensity of the struggle. As part of this series describing Fairly Seasoned Love, I feature I Choose You (Part 2): My Destiny

I Choose You (Part 2): My Destiny

I choose you

Against all logic and reasoning

Against the world’s view

The statistics, the rumors, the “facts”

I choose to forgo the urge to give in to the pompous nudgings of tales passed down to me of old

Things I was lead to believe

Yet unbiblical

I choose you

Rather than distractions of everything else

From shows, the web and even the kids

Instead I choose to look at you

To acknowledge you

Not only with my presence

But with my presence

You.

The vows I said to

The one I first knew

But beau?

Yoohoo!

It is I you used to woo

Who knew

That like the dew

It would evaporate away too...

Yet every new day

The dew once again graces the morning view

I choose you from beginning to end

For you are my friend though sometimes I feel like you’re the enemy

Choosing to hope upon hope that together we are meant to reach purpose

I choose you

Not only for that

But my destiny is linked to you

And I am reaching destiny

So you’re not going anywhere

Till death do us part

We are bound together heart to heart

From you I will never depart

Especially if I’m smart

Our intertwining is art

Painted on the canvas of God

Lacing a path that we are destined to take

I choose you

The best choice I’ve ever made

For the difficulties of today cannot compare to the joys of tomorrow

So I choose you

I choose my destiny

Lyrics by tia 2011

Marital Bliss: My Husband of the Year-2009

Full of the excitement and anticipation of a lifetime with my husband, I wrote this piece as a testament of his greatness. Granted we hadn't been married a full year yet, it was an instrument of faith and gratitude. So here's to you, My Husband of the Year!

My Husband of the Year

I love my husband—there’s so much to say,

I’ll try to share briefly why my love is this way.

He's God's gift to me, wow, God really had me in mind,

When several years before I was born Dr. Ajao Wale He designed.

He’s such a great person, one with purpose and influence;

He endures the hard times, my inconsistencies and nuances;

He loves to learn new things, of this I am so proud;

I look forward to smart children who are a step above the crowd.

In times of difficulty he doesn’t pretend it’s not there,

Instead he says ‘Let’s pray.' and we let God our burdens bear;

He chooses to believe God, walking in faith rather than fear,

And encourages me to do the same and exhibit a confident air.

He values my opinion and listens to me,

He loves to see me smile and laugh, it's his very joy you see.

His love for me is powerful like God’s very own kind;

God truly sent him to care for me, such love is hard to find.

He helps me around the home in any way he can,

And 'tries a little tenderness' as should every good man,

He's funny and witty making life together cool,

Oh, and he takes great pictures, an exceptionally talented guru!

He pastors me often, telling me to do what’s right,

I enjoy listening to him and his spiritual insight.

He’s principled and disciplined; I have hope for our children,

That they will be well trained in our domestic dominion.

He loves my family and his family is good to me,

He has really good acquaintances that are as kind as can be,

He always makes new friends and includes me in the fun,

So don't be surprised if he asks you to be one!

I know that he's not perfect though all of this you've heard,

But God Himself has promised in His enduring Word;

This is for my partner in progress, my motivator, my friend:

He who started this good work in you will complete it to the end!

Dr. Ajao Wale, I thank you for who you are.

I pray God will bless you immensely and take you very far,

In life and in vision and cause your dreams to come true,

Leading us through a life of divine purpose, making all things new

And although we’ve been married for a little less than a year,

I know God will keep us and our union in His able care,

I trust that we will grow together as the time goes on,

And raise kids that will honor you like me, your daughters and your sons.

Love, your darling,

tia

Lyrics by tia 2009

Marital Bliss: Just be to me-2009

Just be to me is a special piece written to my husband out of appreciation for being so much to me. He took on the task of choosing and loving me so boldly and while still baffled, I am forever grateful.

Just be to me…

Just be to me all that you’ve ever been

My friend; my friend, even when others wouldn’t have been

Sharing with me your thoughts and intellect

Mysteries of things past and things yet to come

Even things that were meant to separate us, but somehow made us stronger

You pastor me, leading me to the only One who can save

Unflinching in your faith in love and in the God of divine design

Pointing repeatedly to Him like the moon accused of possessing a brilliant shine

His brightness emanates from your character even at times you would least expect it

My one and only love

So many came and went

None could quite look past the distractions to discover me

Pry open that stubborn mollusk to extract a lustrous pearl

Somehow you did…I still don’t understand

May your reward be great

My provider, the physical representation of God that works diligently to see my well being

You do it by lending your ears to my uncertainties and fears

Directing me back to the Lord when I loose focus,

By embracing me tenderly in your arms,

Looking deep into my eyes,

Sharing your sincerity,

Offering pure intimacy which my heart truly longs for,

So that despite the issues I deal with at any given time,

I remember that God has given me someone that loves me and lets me love him back.

You are reciprocity, a state of being that I’ve always wanted to attain

I appreciate that. I thank you.

It gives me that contentment

That I can just be and that you can just be to me

All that you desire to be

And to me

That’s all I really need.

I love you, baby. I really do. I hope I can be all of these and more to you.

Love,

tia

Lyrics by tia 2009

Discovered in Friendship: He Is

Written a few days after the last entry, this piece speaks of the excitement I felt in developing a promising and wholesome friendship with a really nice guy. Though my approach may have been faulty back then as someone meant to be pursing friendship, I am so grateful to be validated today. These words remind me of what I appreciate about my husband, things that I had really forgotten about…

Thank God for memoirs. Try creating yours. Just write or type out your feelings and thoughts on a day to day. You'll never know when your own words will minister to you.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006 9:26 am

Today as I gazed at DrAW!'s picture, I imagined being face to face with him...

We're still just friends, right? 'Cause it doesn't feel that way...It feels like something is happening here. I've handled it…without a care, [smiling] at the thought of him and enjoying our conversations…

He shares his understanding of the Word of God so passionately, so appealingly. I feel like i'm being taught brand new, like i've never heard these truths before. I feel spoken to as he addresses my own personal issues and I recognize areas of my life that need to be changed. Compelled to read the Word for a better application of what he's shared,...it's like he's pastoring me...

The way he speaks is refreshing. His voice is like an eloquent medley. It excites me when I have the privilege of hearing it. His chuckle is sooo cute!...He is pretty on-point. I think his smile is grand and it appears that he shows it alot. He seems to know how to appreciate the simple things. He can have a good time and be serious too...and his serous look is almost irresistible...

He seems to be enjoying the friendship just as much as I. Our daily interaction has been rewarding. And in a simple, non-threatening way, he said he wants me to visit home so that we can get to know each other better. He recognized his own fallacies and wants us to meet so that we can view each other realistically. That is responsible...but it brings me to wonder. What will it be like meeting for the first time? Will time stand still as our eyes lock from the distance, straight-faced and in awe, forgetting our surroundings? Haha! Don't I wish! Or will there be all care-free smiles and hugs, excitement in the air especially at the comfort and peace. That would be so much better. I'm smiling just thinking of it. Maybe we'll keep the wonder, awe, and eye locking for a time when we can spend real time together.

I hope i'm not faulty in my approach, though I know i've faltered in this way in the past. But I thought I should make note of how I feel now in the event that they are validated one day.

Discovered in Friendship: Just Friends...

This entry was written merely 1 ½ months of starting a promising friendship with someone who fortunately is my husband today. Honestly, like several friendships past, it threatened to become another ‘friendlationship’, as my approach and responses to guys had not changed. My victory was in that he was different as I would find out with time (See story here).

I share this entry because it shows how many of us draw conclusions prematurely and can ruin authentic friendship. Mine was a long-distance friendship from the very beginning so my only ammunition was his pictures, his voice, and his written words; just enough to create an exciting love affair in my mind! Thank God that He decided to make it a reality :)

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

He just [called] me! It feels good when he calls...

Yesterday I figured that he needs some space. I mean we talk practically every day. I thought he was trying to send the message that he will be backing off a little. I understand, I guess, especially since we're just friends and all.

Just friends. I can handle that... Yet, I tend to do things that counter this reality. Pulling up my favorite [picture] of him and staring at it for more than a few seconds, glaring into his eyes and wondering, wondering...wondering what he could be thinking, what he could feel at this very moment. The frow in his brow, the positioning of his soft lips, I wonder what I could do to remove that crease and feel those lips against mine. It's like how can a 'just friend' entertain such thoughts! His eyes so deep, the image so real as it displays his perspiration. I wish to wipe it away with my finger tips and watch his lips part as he grins. I wish to lay my palm upon his cheek and speak to him gently, bringing my face in closer, allowing my forehead to touch his as we engage in intimate conversation. I place my second palm on his other side and craddle is sweet face wishing just to feel his kiss, his look of desire.

It must be wrong to feel this way, especially since I am supposed to be just his friend. I am glad that we were able to talk it out and acknowledge the fact that we left the case open to our individual interpretation of honesty. He told me what he wants in a woman and I fight the urge to try and become her...

Dating and Disappointments: The Other Side of Singleness-2005

The Other Side of Singleness was written while in graduate school almost 2 years before I met my husband. It was written in the midst of a confusing and chaotic friendship with a guy I thank God I was not ordained to be with. It turned out to be a prayer for my future spouse. Definitely a piece that helps me appreciate him now :)

…I trust God to take me to the other side of singleness…but I wonder if I can make the wrong choice or end up with someone that I am not ordained to be with. Oh how I LONG to be with the love of my life—the man who’s company I will enjoy for a lifetime, who I desire to be with, under whose vision I can submit and with whom I can work with and love. Lord, I fear that I could give in to something less than that and be subject to a life wondering if I could have received what I desire. Lord, You know the desires of my heart. I want a man who I can love…love for every aspect of his regular self.

His laugh, his smile,

The way he eats, the thoughts he thinks,

The way he rolls, how his spirit grows,

As he rightly divides the Word of Truth.

His eyes, his hair

The clothes that he wears…

The way he looks at me, his piercing stare.

The fragrance of his cologne.

Hmm, his company when I feel alone.

The tenderness of his kiss, the way I constantly miss him.

His strong hands, the demands of his work,

Faithfully dedicated to what God has appointed him to do.

His drive—oh, it makes me feel alive and a part of a greater calling—

He stalls before he makes a decision. We seek God together with accuracy and precision.

We counter division and God makes provision.

We operate as one as God has ordained. We seek God’s guidance the same.

Our relationship with Christ Jesus sustains us.

We remain in His will and are still as we wait for His direction.

In retrospection, I praise God and my heart overflows with joy.

For all my life I’ve desired love like this, and here it is right before me.

I love you, ______________, and I pray our love grows stronger as we seek the kingdom together.

Love,

tia

Lyrics by tia 2005

Dating and Disappointments: Lord why?-2005

Lord why? was written in 2005 while I was in graduate school as I reminisced over a "friendlationship" that did more harm than good. Sometimes only God has the answer to why we go through certain things. Ultimately He knows better than we do.

Lord why?

Lord, why did I meet him when I met him?

Lord, why was the attraction so strong?

Why did I feel so good about it,

When the whole situation was wrong?

Why did he say all those things to me

As if he himself could for see

That we would have a future together

And that he could actually want me

As a delicate vase upon a stand

With an immature man at hand

He must first grow up and know

How to handle such a delicate being

For 3 months is not enough to know

And our paths cannot really coincide

I see you by my side

Aged and old

Smiles of delight

Enjoying one another’s presence

Learning to give and yet refrain

For maybe another woman ought to bear my name

And you, you’ve got so much to get together

Your attraction to me—now that’s your problem

It doesn’t pay to lead someone on

Lord, why did I meet him when I met him?

Lord, why was the attraction so strong?

Why did I feel so good about it,

When the whole situation was wrong?

Lyrics by tia 2005

Single Hearted: The Betrothal-2004

You will betroth me unto You forever—yes, in righteousness, in judgment…in loving kindness and in mercies. You will even betroth me unto You in faithfulness and I shall know You, the Lord.

Hosea 2:19-20 paraphrased

The Betrothal was written during my senior year in college at the IMPACT 2004 conference out of a determination to end my constant focus on love and relationships and focus on the Lord. Written about 2 years before I met my husband.

Right now, it’s time to see You in a different light…

As Companion and Friend, as Confidante, as Lover, as Husband.

Lord I want to know You

So I truly come to love You with my heart, mind, soul and strength.

That is, I begin to think of You every waking moment,

Smiling to myself at Your mighty acts and thoughtful deeds.

My heart skips a beat at the thought of being with You—

At seeing You one day!

My soul longs for You and I desperately seek Your presence, Your approval, Your applause.

I do all I know how to please You!

I mean, I dress to make You smile,

I do things just so that You can notice me.

I go places where I know You will be at, just to catch a glimpse of You.

I dance in Your presence in the hopes that You would come and join me—

Or at least notice me!

I wrap Your injuries as I care for those who are hurt.

I come and visit You when You’re alone by visiting those who are forgotten.

I skillfully prepare meals in hopes that You would enjoy them…

The destitute and hungry will testify of how enjoyable my meals are!

The essence of my poetry and lyrics will be my affection for You—

Oh how glorious!

So I want to start living like truly I have a love relationship with Jesus Christ.

Lyrics by tia 2004

Single Hearted: My Desire-2003

My Desire was written during my senior year of college, 03-03-03 to be exact. Still very single yet having gone through heart break, I expressed my desire in words that seem pretty sappy in retrospect, but makes me appreciate what I can enjoy now in marriage. In essence, it is a call to let my kingdoms fall allowing God to have sovereignty in my heart, then and now.

My Desire

I want to be in my man’s arms

Sit comfortably against his chest

Have him whisper comforting words in my ear

Converse with him

On the struggles of life

Have him join me in supplication unto God

Through Jesus Christ

I want to smell a whiff of his cologne

And know that I am not alone

That someone is willing to hear me

Not judge or advise me

Just hold me

I’ll have to let him know

That I would willingly receive his love

If he would let me love him in return

I want to feel his touch

Oh and if that weren’t enough

To hear his concern and tease

And laugh or cry with easy

It’s okay- I can be myself all day

Shifts in moods we may endure

We’ll learn to love in spite of it, even more

Fall for me at first glimpse

Or not realize his feelings until

Until maybe I lure him with my charm

Or grip his heart with my song

Or would he see the Glory of his God in me?

Will he recognize the produce of the Spirit,

And be drawn by it?

Will he take note and keep it in his heart

Vowing his love for me will never part

Simply under the sanction of God

To begin something very special

If I would undue my tight grip about this

Capture once again the love for God that I so miss

And desire more than a tender kiss

From the one I would love

If I let go of this world’s good

And follow after God everyway that I could

Knowing full well that He will lead me on

To something superb

If I would let my kingdoms fall

Placing down the idols I’ve adored

Including this man of my dreams

It all turns out to be in vain,

If you know what I mean

Once I get what I think I want,

One day I’ll be bored

And realize that God alone,

Should have been my one and all.

I want the God of my salvation to meet me

And bear me in His embrace

To touch my mind and heart

And enlarge them,

Causing me to know

That the greatest love is in Him

And the finest of things belongs to me

If I would just fear Him

With my innermost being

All that’s within

And put away all forms of sin

Including idolatry and covetousness

Exchanging them for purity and righteousness

Only until then will I experience

The humanly love that God has in store

If I place it in His hands

And walk away

Desiring nothing more than to please Him

If I seek first the kingdom…

Which is the solution to all of this

What more does It say?

All things will be added unto me

I have to yield to Him everyday

And understand the significance of my reverence

To fully and willingly take hold, for this

Is what I want, what I need

What I desire

03-03-03

Needing and Interceding: Letters to Him-2003

Seemingly silly and sappy little love letters written to my intended 3 years before we met. Baffles me how much God honored my assumptions...

November 2003

Dear sweet lover…servant of the Living God,

I sit here musing, listening comfortably to “Song of Solomon” by Ben Tankard alone in this apartment. I’ve just read a chapter of Authentic Beauty: the shaping of a set-apart young woman. See, I’m learning how to love Christ more by placing Him in the center of my existence.

In the past I have not known how to commit myself to Christ and still be in a loving relationship with a man. Yet this is to your advantage, for God has used this to keep me solely for you physically. But unfortunately my emotional and mental self has not been as pure.

This letter is to tell you how much I’m sorry for not keeping myself fully for you. I’ve been a dreamer all my life…and those dreams have been cluttered by fantasies of loving and being loved by boy after boy…then man after man. It’s just that it took a long time for me to discover that you were going to find me at a special time. I always went out looking for you, and when I thought I found you, I would give pieces of my treasure away.

My treasure is very precious. God put it inside of me. I value it very much and I’ve made the decision to hereafter keep it until I truly am found of you. I anticipate that God may entrust me with more jewels. If He does, I’ll just be all the more blessed.

I’m waiting for you, dear. It’s been difficult for me…very-but I know it’s probably been the same for you.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

My dear tender love,

I don’t know what to make of you. We may have already met or you may still be a mystery to me. At any rate, I desire to get to know you…the question is when. I began to ask the Lord if I could get to know you soon, but it just may not be the time. Especially since I’ve desired to be set-apart for the Lord in singleness and sanctity. I will come to a point in my life where my ministry will be revealed and I will walk in the calling that God has set out for me. I recognize that our callings do coincide because we will reach the masses together. It is just that now is the time for me to know the Lord more. If He sees it fit that we get to know one another at the same time, so be it. I just pray that I can be an enhancement to your life and ministry, not a hindrance…I want to be in the center of His will.

Can I be your sweet, tender lover? God will give me the chance to love on you in a way that you can hardly imagine. Sometimes I wonder if my passion and desire for you is just out of place since we’re not together right now. But I believe that they are God-given emotions especially meant for you. I’ll wait for you, darling, and I look forward to getting to know you.

Love,

tia

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

My dear sweet love,

Listening to “Song of Solomon” again. I can just imagine sitting with you…we both gazing into one another’s eyes and sharing tender kisses. I know that I for one desire romance. I am going to wait for you with the understanding that the time we will have together will be far better than my dreams.

I’m going to start praying for you again. My prayer is that God would keep you in the center of His will. I pray that He will be more to you than anything! You will love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, strength, power, might and existence! The Lord will mean more to you than any other desires you may have. And you know what, dear? He will give you the desires of your heart as you delight yourself in Him. Keep seeking His kingdom, baby. Everything else, including me, will be added unto you. My prayer is that God will prepare you for intimacy above any other…Intimacy with God first, then He will give you the ability to be intimate with me. I pray all this in Jesus’ Name.

So baby, we will see each other soon…and we’ll talk.

Love,

tia

P.S. I’m learning to be a set-apart woman. I pray that God will continue to make you a set-apart man.

Needing and Interceding: Prayers for him-2001

There is power in intercession and whether you know the loves of your future or not (your spouse and children) it is a fulfilling practice to begin praying now. It will amaze you that God knows, He hears and He answers. These Prayers for Him written around this time 11 years ago, give me that assurance.

Prayers for him

February 2001

…I lift up the man of my dreams. Keep him Lord from making that wrong move or going that hard way. Make him find his way to You all the time. Continue to give him grace and please let him know that I am patiently waiting and because of that, he should take caution for my sake. Thank You Lord…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

…I’ll voice my prayers over several other things but now (for the record), I lift up the man of my dreams. Keep him whole Lord. May he learn to stand alone with You now and the same for me that when we meet and later join forces to become one, that we would be complete in You. Sanctify him, Lord, for Your mighty work and give me full cause to always love and honor him. Bless him today that he will experience joy and peace today beyond his very understanding. Draw him to Yourself and bless him. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Proverbs 4: 23

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life

I want to keep m heart henceforth. My heart has been expecting acceptance from a variety of angles, but now I declare, in Your power, that my heart must seek You. For me, it is difficult to be sure that what I have been doing is all to bring You glory. I know that Your love for me supersedes my comprehension. But I really don’t get it. I am not grasping this love. It is here; it is real; it is mine- I’m sure of it. But to understand it and to accept it with no physical markers is difficult. I need the special grace to make it through this day knowing and sharing that love with everyone that I know. It really is all about You. Lord, please put life back into perspective. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Father, I lift up the man of my dreams. He is seeking You. He really needs You in his longings and over the decisions he has to make. Draw him close to You. Love him more that I ever could. Give me the grace, Father, to begin acting fair toward him because I’ve failed to do so till now. You know, I’ll wait. Father, please just be by my side as I do so. Whisper powerfully in my ear when I am set to do wrong. Those thin lines and “gray areas”, may I not nudge close to. May all that I do and plan to accomplish serve only to glorify You and not myself. May I exemplify Jesus like tia’s life has been ordained to do- no one else’s. Mine. And may I find joy in You, oh Lord, as I draw closer to the challenge. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.

Lyrics by tia 2001

Waiting and Wondering: Intimacy with God-2000

Intimacy with God was written in March 2000 during my first year of college, having never been on a date. (It was during the I Kissed Dating Goodbye movement :) It was a time when it was important to depend on God as I waited.

Intimacy with God

Sometimes I wish to be held and kissed by a man.

Yeah this is normal.

And to talk with one and really communicate and look eye to eye and learn from him and listen to him and to offer support his way the best way I can.

I sometimes wish to be in a man’s embrace and be comfortable there.

This is normal.

And to talk like I talk and be who I be around him Yeah, that’s what I want at times.

Well my wish has been grated on the Spiritual realm! Puff! Up and behold my Creator-my Maker, the One who gave the Word and all elements obeyed See the MASTER who declared once that He loved me with an everlasting love and He showed it by a sacrifice. By sacrificing HIMSELF for me? Ah! But the creator, my Master-Emmanuel Himself took His omnipotence and rose again in glory so that one day I could know Him and the power of this His resurrection and the fellowship of His sacrificial suffering.

Now I am held steadily by grace and a promise.

I am kissed by rich blessings of every breath I take. This is extraordinary-nothing like it.

And I talk with Him. I really communicate with God and through the eyes of His very own Holy Spirit I learn from Him and I hear from and listen to Him the best I can and offer praise of which I must offer more and give to him my best.

I often find myself embraced in His peace and no matter the havoc around me…I am comfortable and at ease! This is extraordinary—amazing; unheard of in this world’s mind! Whew! And I talk like I talk and I be who I be around Him knowing that now I represent Him.

Lyrics by tia 2000

Waiting and Wondering: A Rare Treasure-1998

Young and yearning; the teenage years were challenging.

Waiting and wondering; I would turn to God.

He is my Confidante, my guidance and direction.

He is always listening, no matter how silly my banter...

A Rare Treasure was a letter written to God in 1998 as a junior in high school. So innocent and naive I was to believe that HE could have a special love in store for me...only to find that HE truly did 10 years later. HE is an awesome wonder!

A Rare Treasure

…Now, how I feel ought to be expressed at this place and time. Yearning…perhaps needing another person to hold on to, lean against for softness and comfort. Not ready to exploit anything I have but rather seeking to hear and be heard…You know Lord, so constantly I feel this is the guy You are going to bring into my life…You know; the man of my dreams, unique through his precious eyes and his true concern for me. I often imagine his strong hands yielding to the delicacy of a course, beautiful face. You know-his sensitivity! Alright! So I’m dreaming too much! There’s no such man they say…but I say, I am a rare jewel and I will get a rare treasure. An initiator ready to state that he wants to further and deepen his relationship with Christ along with me, one who isn’t afraid to launch into the Spirit and truth of real worship. Umm, the man who will stand persecution for Christ’s sake and spend long hours talking lovingly of Him. He’ll have the sense of when the time is right- alone in moonlight, at the door…at the altar- just one fine smooch to fill my simple desire!

So I think it’s this guy that will pop up to be that listening ear. But, for real, I kind of guess that it really is You. You want Your kids to depend on You for everything…I need to be brought to that place to ask questions and get answers from You alone. Love…sweet love-I’ll experience it first hand from the Savior and if I’m patient enough, He will give me that complementary man that will help me draw closer to Him.

It’s all good-It is all good! You have plans that I will prosper and have an expected end. Your faithfulness is awesome…I thank You Lord. I love You so much.

Love You Lord,

tia.

Lyrics by tia 1998