Discovered in Friendship: Just Friends...

This entry was written merely 1 ½ months of starting a promising friendship with someone who fortunately is my husband today. Honestly, like several friendships past, it threatened to become another ‘friendlationship’, as my approach and responses to guys had not changed. My victory was in that he was different as I would find out with time (See story here).

I share this entry because it shows how many of us draw conclusions prematurely and can ruin authentic friendship. Mine was a long-distance friendship from the very beginning so my only ammunition was his pictures, his voice, and his written words; just enough to create an exciting love affair in my mind! Thank God that He decided to make it a reality :)

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

He just [called] me! It feels good when he calls...

Yesterday I figured that he needs some space. I mean we talk practically every day. I thought he was trying to send the message that he will be backing off a little. I understand, I guess, especially since we're just friends and all.

Just friends. I can handle that... Yet, I tend to do things that counter this reality. Pulling up my favorite [picture] of him and staring at it for more than a few seconds, glaring into his eyes and wondering, wondering...wondering what he could be thinking, what he could feel at this very moment. The frow in his brow, the positioning of his soft lips, I wonder what I could do to remove that crease and feel those lips against mine. It's like how can a 'just friend' entertain such thoughts! His eyes so deep, the image so real as it displays his perspiration. I wish to wipe it away with my finger tips and watch his lips part as he grins. I wish to lay my palm upon his cheek and speak to him gently, bringing my face in closer, allowing my forehead to touch his as we engage in intimate conversation. I place my second palm on his other side and craddle is sweet face wishing just to feel his kiss, his look of desire.

It must be wrong to feel this way, especially since I am supposed to be just his friend. I am glad that we were able to talk it out and acknowledge the fact that we left the case open to our individual interpretation of honesty. He told me what he wants in a woman and I fight the urge to try and become her...