Needing and Interceding: Letters to Him-2003

Seemingly silly and sappy little love letters written to my intended 3 years before we met. Baffles me how much God honored my assumptions...

November 2003

Dear sweet lover…servant of the Living God,

I sit here musing, listening comfortably to “Song of Solomon” by Ben Tankard alone in this apartment. I’ve just read a chapter of Authentic Beauty: the shaping of a set-apart young woman. See, I’m learning how to love Christ more by placing Him in the center of my existence.

In the past I have not known how to commit myself to Christ and still be in a loving relationship with a man. Yet this is to your advantage, for God has used this to keep me solely for you physically. But unfortunately my emotional and mental self has not been as pure.

This letter is to tell you how much I’m sorry for not keeping myself fully for you. I’ve been a dreamer all my life…and those dreams have been cluttered by fantasies of loving and being loved by boy after boy…then man after man. It’s just that it took a long time for me to discover that you were going to find me at a special time. I always went out looking for you, and when I thought I found you, I would give pieces of my treasure away.

My treasure is very precious. God put it inside of me. I value it very much and I’ve made the decision to hereafter keep it until I truly am found of you. I anticipate that God may entrust me with more jewels. If He does, I’ll just be all the more blessed.

I’m waiting for you, dear. It’s been difficult for me…very-but I know it’s probably been the same for you.

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My dear tender love,

I don’t know what to make of you. We may have already met or you may still be a mystery to me. At any rate, I desire to get to know you…the question is when. I began to ask the Lord if I could get to know you soon, but it just may not be the time. Especially since I’ve desired to be set-apart for the Lord in singleness and sanctity. I will come to a point in my life where my ministry will be revealed and I will walk in the calling that God has set out for me. I recognize that our callings do coincide because we will reach the masses together. It is just that now is the time for me to know the Lord more. If He sees it fit that we get to know one another at the same time, so be it. I just pray that I can be an enhancement to your life and ministry, not a hindrance…I want to be in the center of His will.

Can I be your sweet, tender lover? God will give me the chance to love on you in a way that you can hardly imagine. Sometimes I wonder if my passion and desire for you is just out of place since we’re not together right now. But I believe that they are God-given emotions especially meant for you. I’ll wait for you, darling, and I look forward to getting to know you.

Love,

tia

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My dear sweet love,

Listening to “Song of Solomon” again. I can just imagine sitting with you…we both gazing into one another’s eyes and sharing tender kisses. I know that I for one desire romance. I am going to wait for you with the understanding that the time we will have together will be far better than my dreams.

I’m going to start praying for you again. My prayer is that God would keep you in the center of His will. I pray that He will be more to you than anything! You will love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, strength, power, might and existence! The Lord will mean more to you than any other desires you may have. And you know what, dear? He will give you the desires of your heart as you delight yourself in Him. Keep seeking His kingdom, baby. Everything else, including me, will be added unto you. My prayer is that God will prepare you for intimacy above any other…Intimacy with God first, then He will give you the ability to be intimate with me. I pray all this in Jesus’ Name.

So baby, we will see each other soon…and we’ll talk.

Love,

tia

P.S. I’m learning to be a set-apart woman. I pray that God will continue to make you a set-apart man.